What is aromanticism?

Aromanticism is a romantic orientation. An aromantic is a person who does not experience romantic attraction towards others. There is considerable diversity among the aromantic community, as aromantics can be of any sexual orientation. Aromantic people are often satisfied with friendships and non-romantic relationships.

 

Aromanticism is not

- a decision/an attitude

- a mental disease

- caused by commitment issues

 

It is important to note that aromantics do not lack emotional/personal connection, but simply have no instincutal need to develop relationships of a romantic nature.

 

Can aromantics love?

It is possible for an aromantic to be involved in a devoted relationship with another individual, but these relations resemble close friendships and are not purposely initiated monogamous. Aromantics can love, but are likely to experience this emotion as a feeling of close friendship for the emotional needs of aromantic people can be fulfilled in a platonic way. However, this does not make their way of loving less worthy.

 

How to tell if you are aromantic

If you question your romantic orientation and try to figure out if you are aromantic, the following list of possible signs might help you.

 

Attention: Figuring out if you're really aromantic can be a challenge. How do you know if you've never felt romantic attraction, if you're not sure what romantic attraction even is and no one can satisfactorily explain it to you? The following list contains possible signs of aromanticism which are just generalizations. You don't need to be familiar with all of the experiences listed below to identify as aromantic nor does it necessarily mean you are not aromantic if just few of them apply to you. Of course romantic people might identify with some of the listed experiences as well.

 

1. The concept of a romantic relationship doesn't appeal to you.

 

2. You don't idolize another person as the Right One.

 

3. You have wondered whether love is just a cultural construct.

 

4. You have never fallen in love with someone before and don't care about it.

 

5. You don't know how it feels to have butterflies in one's stomach.

 

6. You have trouble relating when your friends discuss their romantic feelings because you find

    their romantic experiences rather boring.

 

7. You don't initiate relationships which are purposely monogamous.

 

8. You treasure friendship more than love.

 

9. You find romance boring or upsetting when it appears in fiction or television.

 

10. You are always in search of a novel or a film without a romantic plot.

 

11. You don't like hugging or cuddling with other people.

 

12. If you recognize the romantic feelings of person x you are confused and avoid an encounter.

 

13. You imagine your future without a marriage.

 

14. You feel complete without a partner and don't miss anything.

 

15. You wonder why the concept of love shall show itself in romantic actions.

 

16. You have never had a crush on somebody.

 

17. You don't care about Valentine's Day or are annoyed by it.

 

18. You haven't said 'I love you' to anyone but your pets.

 

19. You wonder why everyone else depends his luck on another person.

 

20. You find pet names romantic people tend to give each other ridiculous.

 

21.  Identifying as aromantic makes you feel relieved and more like yourself.

 

22. Knowing that aromanticism is a romantic orientation makes you feel glad not to be the only

     person feeling this way.

 

23. You have trouble telling the difference between platonic and romantic feelings.

 

24. You have never had a romantic relationship - not because you couldn't get one, but because

      you simply never wanted to be part of a romantic couple.

 

25. You are either oblivious to other people flirting with you or their attempts make you feel

      uncomfortable.

 

26. You avoid going to places where people are likely to flirt with you such as parties or

      nightclubs.

 

27. The idea of spending the rest of your lifetime single doesn't frighten you.

 

28. You have trouble imagining romantic activities you are involved in.

 

29. You were perceived as flirtatious when you only meant to be friendly.

 

30. You are not interested in romantic activities such as dating.

 

31. You don't understand why people do ridiculous and irrational things when they are in love.

 

32. When someone suggests having a romantic relationship with you, you don't understand why

      he is not satisfied with a platonic relation.

 

33. You don't believe that romantic love is the only way to love someone.

 

34. When you do romantic things, it feels like you're copying a behaviour you've seen elsewhere

     rather than acting out of inner emotional needs.

 

35. You don't understand why finding something romantic, e.g. the sunset, would lead you to the

      desire of interacting romantically with another person.

 

36. You can't relate to the idea of awakening in the morning next to another person.

 

37. Observing a kissing couple makes you want to instantly vomit.

 

38. The way you show other people your affection differs a lot from the usual concept.

 

39. You don't mind being in somebody's friendzone because that's your goal.

 

40. When listening to love songs you're fascinated by the melodies and not by the lyrics.

 

41. You think about love and romantic relationships rather rational and try to analyze them.

 

42. Your understanding of romantic feelings and relationships is rather abstract and 'trained'.

 

Authors: Siku, Kari

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