Asexuality is a sexual orientation. An asexual is a person who does not experience sexual attraction towards others. There is considerable diversity among the asexual community, as asexuals can be of any romantic orientation. Many asexual people experience romantic attraction to a particular gender, those who don't are called aromantics.
Asexuality is not
- a decision/an attitude
- a mental disease
- caused by commitment issues
It is also important to note that asexuality should not be mistaken for celibacy. Whereas people can choose sexual abstinence and be celibate, asexuality is no decision but a sexual orientation.
Do asexuals seek romantic relationships?
Asexuals can desire close and intimate relationships of many types and forms. The emotional needs of asexuals differ from person to person. Some asexual people are happier on their own, others seek being part of a romantic couple.
If you question your sexual orientation and try to figure out if you are asexual, the following list of possible signs might help you.
Attention: Figuring out if you're really asexual can be a challenge. How do you know if you've never felt sexual attraction, if you're not sure what sexual attraction even is and no one can satisfactorily explain it to you? The following list contains possible signs of asexuality which are just generalizations. You don't need to be familiar with all of the experiences listed below to identify as asexual nor does it necessarily mean you are not asexual if just few of them apply to you. Of course sexual people might identify with some of the listed experiences as well.
1. You have never felt sexual attraction towards others.
2. You realize that other people think about sex in a completely different manner than you do.
3. You don't think about sex.
4. You don't fantasize about sexual intercourse.
5. You have never had sex in your life and are not willing to alter this.
6. You have had sex with a partner and didn't enjoy it.
7. You avoid relationships because you fear the point at which your partner could want to have
sexual intercourse with you.
8. You avoid conversations about sexuality and sexual experiences.
9. You experienced your adolescence different than other people as your sexual interest didn't
10. You don't consider other people 'hot'.
11. You could spend a lifetime without sex.
12. You don't understand why sex shall be the only way to show one's love to a partner.
13. You don't masturbate or don't like masturbating.
14. You think about sex and sexuality rather abstract and in rational or scientific terms.
15. You are repulsed by the oversexualized society.
16. You can't relate to sexual scenes in fiction or television and find most of the stuff boring or
17. You can't understand the sexual drive and the 'urges' of other people.
18. You thought mistakenly you were possibly homosexual.
19. You can experience aesthetic attraction towards others without wanting to have sexual
intercourse with them.
20. You were relieved figuring out that asexuality is a sexual orientation and other people
experience the same feelings.
21. Identifying as asexual makes you feel relieved and more like yourself.
22. When you think about sex you realize that there are plenty of things you'd much rather do.
23. You don't understand the point about 'sexiness'.
24. You wouldn't wear special clothes to be perceived as 'sexy' or 'hot' by others.
25. You have 'forced' yourself to have sex with your partner because you feared losing him.
26. You don't think of naked bodies as an object of desire.
27. While having sex with your partner you focus on the motions, not the emotions.
28. You think sexual arousal is annoying.
29. You just pretended to be interested in sex in order to fit in.
30. You are bored out of your mind if your friends tell you about their sexual experiences.
31. You are oblivious to sexual allusions.
32. You don't understand why others make such a big deal about sex.
33. You thought you just had a low libido and later discovered that you actually never want to
34. You don't consume porn or magazines known for their sexual contents.
35. You don't perceive other people as 'hot' or 'sexy' walking through town.
36. You lose interest in or avoid people sexually interested in you.
37. You have never dressed up for someone but yourself.
38. You don't get the connection between love and sex.
39. You are still a virgin and don't want to alter that.
40. You aren't ashamed of your virginity.
41. Your idea of a romantic relationship doesn't include sexual intercourse.
42. You feel threatened or uncomfortable if someone develops sexual interest in you.
43. You don't like being sized up and could renounce the gaze.
Authors: Siku, Kari